This week, I’ve watched a few close friends confront unexpected, unwarranted and significant challenges.
I’m not talking about your run-of-the-mill irritating stuff, like flat tires, stomach viruses or leaky roofs. I’m talking death, diagnosis and true difficulty.
And I’m always inspired by the folks who muster the strength to confront these challenges with dignity and grace – finding the composure and maturity to recognize the opportunity for growth in the face of a setback.
I’ve tried to embrace this attitude with the challenges I’ve had to face in my life and I do believe that I’ve been accordingly blessed.
But as I get older, and I watch people around me struggling with legitimately challenging problems, I’ve become far less patient with the whiners and complainers. You know who I’m talking about – those folks who are completely overwhelmed by the regular course of life and exert far too much time and energy blaming everyone and everything else for their limitations.
An Unfair Advantage
My daughter recently pointed out that it seems those people who have the wherewithal to manage major setbacks are very ones who are forced to confront those setbacks. In other words, you get what you can handle.
If it’s true, it pretty much stinks, right? It’s not fair that some people have to endure a disproportionate amount of crap in their lives, especially if it’s because they have heartier constitution.
I remember when my daughter was diagnosed, over and over again, people said to me, “God gives special children to parents He knows can love them.”
Bull shit.
I don’t buy it.
But I do actually believe that the people who tackle their challenges, no matter how dire or dismal, with gusto, strength and resolve, are at a significant advantage.
They see opportunity where others’ don’t. While challenges might sting, they don’t become stuck in the debris – they persist in a spirit of growth and commitment that serves them well.
Doers and whiners
It may sound impatient or simplistic, but I think I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two types of people in this world - doers and whiners.
The doers are almost always composed. They exude a sense of confidence, even when the going gets tough, and they relish a challenge. They seize opportunity, they set ambitious goals and they hold themselves accountable.
The whiners, by contrast, are full of excuses. They have a very low threshold for frustration or pain and they lack the capacity for meaningful growth and insight (in my opinion, harsh as it may be).
I think that the doers have much fuller, more meaningful lives than the whiners. Even if they are challenged in a disproportionate way.
So stop whining about content!
It’s amazing to me how many businesses whine about why they can’t initiate a targeted content marketing or social media campaign.
- They don’t have anything to write about
- Nobody in their company knows how to write
- It’s a waste of time and money
- They don’t believe it will yield any results
- Blogging is a passing trend
- Social media is overrated
I could go on and on – but these are all half hearted excuses that don’t make sense. Gary Vaynerchuk has pointed out that if you bet against social media (and content marketing by extension) you are betting against the Internet.
Stop whining and just get busy! Roll up your sleeves and start executing. The business payoff will be considerable – and like all of the other doers in the world, no matter the bumps in the road, there will be significant benefits to reap.
Your turn
How do you confront challenges? Do you feel overwhelmed by the prospect of a content marketing or social media campaign for your business? Share your thoughts and reactions in the comment section below.
And don’t forget to Tweet, Like and Share this post if you found it useful!
Boom.
LOVE this post.
I’m going to laugh if people come along and tell you that this sounds too negative, or tell you that you sound irritated. Whiners don’t understand this kind of passion. Neither do people who haven’t been through tough shit.
There are a lot of times I’ve wanted to give up on various tough things, including four content-based projects I’m working on (forgive the dangling preposition).
For me, dealing with that particular nuisance is a two-part process. Part 1 is just don’t give up. I think a certain level of stupidity is beneficial here.
There have been SO many times in my life where I probably should have given up, but was stupid enough to keep going, and just the act of continuing in spite of my better judgment led to success. Sometimes people are minutes or seconds away from a breakthrough when they give up.
A small example that’s happened to me several times is teaching myself to do my own auto repairs. On various projects I’ve been on the verge of throwing in the towel and calling a mechanic to finish the job when I try something out of stubbornness or desperation and it actually works.
Of course, you’re not always seconds away from a breakthrough. Part two of confronting challenges is taking an honest look at whether the project should be scrapped or modified. I think this should only be done after several attempts to push through the discomfort and hard work. As I mentioned, I was working on four content-based projects. I had to toss one of them that wasn’t going to work due to a lack of passion on my part and some poor execution at the outset. Sometimes, you have to draw the curtain.
But that’s different than calling it quits before you ever really start.
Jacob, thanks for your thoughtful response. And I don’t think it’s stupidity WHATSOEVER! I think it’s measure persistence. Some of my readers know that I have a daily Ashtanga yoga practice, and the most important discipline I’ve learned is to keep coming back to my mat, every day, over and over again. Even when I feel sore or tired or even a bit sick, I come to my mat. And going through those motions ultimately results in PROGRESS. I don’t think it’s stupid at all Jacob, and the fact that it’s yielded fruitful results in your case serves to validate the point of this post.
Bravo!
We don’t need to limited our perspective to just the internet. Whiners are everywhere. Look at it from the perspective from the U.S. Educational system, which ranks around 17th globally. Yet children and young adults from all around the world come and study and make a mastery of their studies. It’s the whiners that gave it a #17 ranking, not those focused on success.
Nice article Ruth.
Morris recently posted..What is Unpasteurized Honey?
Yup, it’s true Morris; it’s a veritable whiner epidemic! It’s because everyone feels entitled to a life filled with only good things. Glad you enjoyed the article!
Twitter: blognetworking
says:
There will always be whiners in this world (we are just getting started, because the number is just going to increase).
Why?
Because, most people, these days are less willing to face obstacles (from my stand point, I don’t have any right to criticize them, because I don’t face any problems that they do).
But, in my opinion, people should be more willing to accept what they get with their live and move forward, strive forward to achieve their goals, instead of whining about what we got (Is whining going to solve any problems? Unlikely, unless someone finds sympathy or irritation in our whining and helps us).
As with content, yes, people write about writer’s block and blogging being dead.
I respect their opinion, and I agree to some part (with writer’s block), but my perspective is different (it isn’t the lack of ideas, it is the lack of mood or motivation to write).
Those things matter to a very large extent. If you don’t have the right mood or motivation, no matter what big of an idea you have, you won’t be able to write it (well, you could try, but things will end up in a bad state).
Jeevan Jacob John recently posted..Ultimate Challenge: Minimize Time, Maximize Work and Productivity
Obviously there are certain things I can imagine would crush my spirit – the death of a child being at the top of my list. It’s not so much that I stand in judgment; it’s more so that I prefer to surround myself with people who DO choose to tackle their challenges constructively and respectfully. I don’t begrudge the whiners, I just choose not to hang out with them
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I write about cancer. A lot. So much so, in fact, that if “The Secret” is one day found to be true (you’ll sense my disbelief from the “air quotes” surrounding the super-silly term), then I’ll inevitably be diagnosed. Soon.
A recent interviewee said she likens her experience with battling cancer to a recent lesson learned at a professional conference on violence prevention training for women. Here’s her take:
“The facilitator noted that when we face a problem head on and bring it closer to us, that’s how we actually get better. We deal with it and move on. When we ignore problems, we only invite them closer because we’re not addressing the issue.”
If problems fester, we only make it worse. True for cancer. True for life. True for content marketing.
It may feel counter-intuitive to bring the problem closer to us…but it’s the only way we push through it! Otherwise it’s always lurking in the background, sabotaging our today with fear of the what-ifs.
Great post, Ruth…as always!
Mikalee Byerman recently posted..Goodbye, Boyfriend Brett…
Ahhh…a deeper, more introspective Mikalee! I like!!!
I haven’t read any of your cancer references, but I totally get that! I have a fear of flying…a deathly fear (I won’t take drugs because I need to have my wits about me for when the plane crashes). But before I fly anywhere, the day prior, I broach the subject of the looming plane crash with pretty much everyone who will listen. Truth is, by preparing yourself psychologically for the possibility of catastrophe, you initiate a process of overcoming. You arm yourself preemptively. I think that’s the sign of a fighter. I’m going through those motions so that I can cope with my fear of flying. I don’t back down and choose not to fly; I don’t whine (hmmm…my husband might disagree); I do it. I push past my discomfort.
Sounds like you’re doing some of the same with cancer. As long as in so doing, you don’t become immobilized. But Mikalee, I’d count you as a ‘doer’, without a doubt!
Hope all is well! Blog post please!
Really fluid writing and a great topic…..well done! Team building helps me and could be useful to many who feel overwhelmed. Complaining can be bothersome but also useful at times. Alerting our family and social circle that life has become… well….beyond difficult is a first step to adding strength in the area of mental wellness. Look fwd to more posts from you via PWAC connections. A bientot from Western Canada. JB
Thanks Jackie – always a pleasure to meet a fellow Canuck! I think that there is a difference between complaining and constructively soliciting support or asking for help. Certainly I embrace the latter as a very critical coping mechanism, and while it’s something that is difficult for me to do, I recognize its importance.
I’m more so talking about the people who whine on and on about nonsense, and then don’t do anything about it! I had one friend virtually in tears because she was so stressed out choosing the granite for her new, custom-designed kitchen. I’m not exaggerating….TEARS!
We have become a society that rejects any feeling of stress or discomfort. We feel entitled to a life that is stress-free. And I just think that’s ridiculous. Stress can be a very important vehicle for personal growth. You simply can’t have progress and success without obstacles and failures.
Thanks for your comment; I hope you’ll be back!
Great post. Thanks. Look forward to reading more from you.
Thanks Dhaval
. Welcome to my blog!
Twitter: bdorman264
says:
Ok preacher, quit talking about me; that’s why I quit going to church……..:).
I am not a whiner or complainer; I’m the go along, get along guy. I don’t want to associate w/ whiners or complainers; I want the ‘whatever it takes to get it done’ guy to be in my camp.
That wasn’t always the case, because I did more than my share of bitching and moaning while I was in the Army. That’s one of the reasons I knew it would not be a good fit for me and inspired me to work extra hard when I was able to go back to school.
Life just deals you a rotten hand at times; but one thing for sure, life is going to go on whether you are ready for it to or not. Roll up your sleeves and just do the best you can; nobody is going to do it for you.
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Ya, right Bill. I had you in mind the whole time I was writing this post. But then again…you used to be ‘somebody’.
And if you don’t want to associate with whiners or complainers, you’re in the right place! I think that you should be allowed to bitch in the army. Let’s make that the only exception to the rule…
Whiners are like wants without a purpose, aligned through feeling deprived and seeking external attention from something lacking internally. Once you get the why or purpose nailed, things get pretty simple but you find you just have a ton of stuff to do and never enough time. So, the time spent whining pretty much equals time not spent doing what you need to do next, the next stepping stone. The Stones “You can’t always get what you want” could be appropriate,
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Very well said Matt! Good to see you; I hope you’re having a great summer.
Twitter: adriennesmith40
says:
Well Miss Ruth we both seem to be on the “not putting up with it anyone” train today!
I totally agree with you and as you know from my own personal experience with my Dad’s health issues, I have no place in my life for whiners. I hate that some really horrible things have to happen to some people before they’ll wake up and smell the roses but I guess that’s what it takes at times.
I also really hate when people say that God won’t give you more then you can handle. I don’t necessarily believe that either. All I know is that he’s just there for you to help see you through and he’s someone you can lean on.
If you’re here to build a business or for those businesses that want to step it up to the next level, jump on in. You don’t have to be an expert, just start writing. Heck, I never saw myself as a writer but I did it anyway and it’s been a fabulous learning experience. If corporations don’t want to do that themselves then they can always just hire you! Bingo!
Great post Ruth and thanks for continuing to tell it like it is. Bravo to you.
~Adrienne
Adrienne recently posted..Excuse Me But I Am A Little Confused
We are definitely in synch today Adrienne! And I’ve read your posts about your Dad, and they immediately inspired in me a sense of admiration for your great attitude and positive spirit. And your recent ‘Blogging Awards’ video pointed out to me even more so that you are the quintessential DOER! Anyone who hasn’t checked out Adrienne’s video – head over there right away for some up-close-and-personal info.
Twitter: wonderoftech
says:
Hi Ruth, Yes, it’s true, there are those for whom even minor annoyances seem overwhelming. I often wonder how they are going to cope when life hands them a true tragedy.
Challenges certainly put everything in perspective. Even if you’re not experiencing challenge, you can see challenges around you. Then you can be grateful for all you have going for you, instead of worrying about what you don’t have.
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I wonder that all the time about certain people – what would happen if they were TRULY challenged in life. And more often than not…they aren’t!!!! Perhaps there is something to that notion that you only get what you can handle. And I certainly agree, that acknowledging and appreciating your blessings is really the flip side of this same point – something that I find the ‘doers’ do more often than not!
Life isn’t cruel to whiners. They just whine about it because they can’t or will not handle it. Ok, this may sound a bit harsh but life does throw crap at a lot of people (and yes, some do have it all okay, let’s not talk about them!) but the whole issue is on how you handle the crap.
My mom always told me that if someone throws crap at you, you never throw crap back at them… you both end up getting dirtier! So yes, sometimes it might be tough and sometimes it might be really really tough but just keep trying and it might be okay one fine day.
When I was in college, I had a terrible fall, my head split open and I need like ten stitches. I had lost a lot of blood and the doctors told my parents that I might not be able to make it. Fourteen days later I was out of the hospital and giving my final exams. So yes, I ain’t blowing my horns (maybe I am!)
but you just need to believe that some things will get better!
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I love that notion Hajra – nobody wants to get dirtier! Deep, even breaths help when the source of your troubles is another human being. In many ways, that is even MORE challenging than the type of obstacle that is entirely beyond the realm of human control (illness, accident, etc.). And by the way, you can go ahead and toot your own horn over here at my blog any time you like! Thanks for the comment.
Twitter: rdopping
says:
Love this. There are doers and there are whiners. Black and white. You can’t make it simpler than that, can you?
How do I confront challenges? Head on. But that’s not what you want to know, is it?
You want to know if I am challenged by creating content and I am. Coming up with relevant content that adds value is very tough. That doesn’t mean I won’t keep hacking away at it though. Why? Anything else would be giving up and a colossal waste of time.
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There you go Ralph! That’s the spirit. And I have no doubt that your persistence will pay off big time!
Hey Ruth,
This is exactly what I’ve been thinking about lately. I am kind of fortunate. My clients are not whining or saying that they don’t have anything to write about, but they are saying that they don’t have the time or resources to do it. So, that’s why they hire me
The challenge is to explain to them how important content is. Many of the people I talk keep doing their jobs like they’ve always been doing them, without thinking that content has become such an important part of their business.
I’m not experiencing a lot of negativity, but people just don’t have the time, that’s what they keep telling me
Jens P. Berget recently posted..Marketing with a smile
Sometimes whining comes from laziness or stubbornness, and sometimes it’s a function of ignorance. Content marketing strategy can evolve over time. It doesn’t have to take a huge investment of time, energy or money – in my opinion, it’s more so about consistency. In any case, if anyone can set them straight Jens it’s you!
Amen. I can’t believe how many fellow authors whine and complain about poor book sales. Most of these complainers are just sitting back doing nothing. This isn’t a “Field Of Dreams” and people won’t just buy it because we’ve written it. There are so many different avenues of marketing to try like cross promoting with other authors, joining writing groups, attending craft fairs, book fairs, and book signings, establishing a fan base on Face book and Twitter, Offering a Blog or Website with great content, and so much more.
Hi Ruth,
I have subscribed to your blog, this article is amazing as the rest of your posts. I hope my stay will be great on your blog. Looking forward to more of your writings
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